Some Wins are Disguised as Losses

View the Finalists



Dear Boys and Girls,

On Sunday night I went to sleep at 10pm, when I heard Jason call from downstairs: "It's up!" He was referring to the Grand Finale Announcement.

I had zero doubt in my mind that I would be a finalist. So: when my name and image did not show up on the screen for the Women's age 30-39 category, I was surprised, disappointed, yea, okay, maybe even completely and totally shocked.

Congratulations to all the Grand Finalists! You have overcome so much and have a unique story to share. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I hope you continue to make change and touch as many lives as possible.

I spent most of Tuesday crying, not because I did not win, but because I was overwhelmed by the comments on my facebook page, the emails, the phone calls, and the love in this house.

I may not have been a finalist, but I AM a winner.

Being CHOSEN as a finalist was out of my control. Achieving my goal of ELITE FITNESS was not. I achieved my goal of 12% body fat, have touched and continue to touch so many lives, and omg, have you seen my body??! I have honestly surpassed my hopes and expectations. I look at the women in Oxygen Magazine and can't believe that I look like many of them. Talk about a dream! I have achieved it!

So: what changes after having "lost"?

Okay, so, I won't receive the $5,000 for being a finalist. It never was and will never be about the money. And this is not a post about coaching, but thanks to the coaching opportunity, let's just say (and I promise I say that with modesty and gratitude!) that I can earn that in just a couple of weeks.

And I won't be recognized on stage. I have to admit, as I trained like a horse the past six months, I kept visualizing myself winning on stage. So, yes, maybe the recognition part is the part that stings the most. But wait, have I not already been recognized? There isn't a single day that goes by where I don't receive an email from someone who tells me that I have helped changed their lives. Boys and girls, THAT IS WHAT MATTERS.

So: WHAT NOW?

I won't be defined by an event, a decision that was out of my control. Remember: we have the power to design our destinies. I will continue to train with intensity because it brings me joy and I will continue to share my journey with others.

Now on with the ride!

Barbie, PhD