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Friday, October 24, 2008

Afterthoughts on Tony's Rant


A friend who I hadn't spoken to in years called me yesterday and told me about his sister who had had gastric bypass surgery. I was surprised to learn that he and his sister were no longer as close as before; they seemed inseparable way back when. When I asked what had happened, my friend responded: "she didn't have food to comfort her anymore, so she took out her feelings on everyone around her. Her personality totally changed." I was shocked. She had always been such a sweet girl. But, what he said made perfect sense to me once I thought about it: once folks have gastric bypass surgery, they are unable to eat much more than an ounce of two of food at a time. Those who looked to food for comfort and who undergo such a surgery are often left without a new coping mechanism. So, instead of eating for comfort as a means to cope, she lashed out.

What does this have to do with Tony's rant that I posted on my blog last nite? Everything. Read on.

We all cope with life and its problems differently and to varying degrees of success. Some people cope with sex or alcohol. Some cope by lashing out, keeping it all in, or by not dealing with it at all. Some actually cope well for the most part and have good support systems in place. And well, some cope with food.

Oh, goodness, I just realized that I may be in way over my head. I have not even mentioned motivation and drive. Some people believe they are not good enough, that they don't deserve to succeed, to be loved, to be happy.

What am I getting at? I think that what I'm trying to say is that people are complicated and that the reasons some folks can't seem to get fit once and for all are related to deeper issues.

I loved Tony's rant last night. He had me saying Amen, Hallelujah at the end of every other sentence. Sometimes people need to just suck it up and bring it. But, sometimes, more help is needed and it's not as easy as just saying, "Okay, I'm gonna press play and eat clean six times a week." People's history, our baggage, whatever you call it, gets in the way.

So, now Tony's the bad guy and you're off the hook, huh? Not so fast!

Behind Tony's harsh language that some folks found inappropriate or offensive, there was a simple and empowering message that is the driving principle behind Jack Canfield's philosopy: You are responsible for your life. Only you have the power to change it.

Pressing play and eating clean may not always be as simple as the catch phrase Decide. Commit. Succeed. But, here's the catch, you can decide that you're going to do something about the fact that you're always stuck. You can commit to finding out what help exists out there to help you get to the root of some of your problems. Then, yes, I am sure of it, you will succeed.

It really is up to you.

Now, Bring it!

Barbie, PhD

3 comments:

tanasha said...

Great words of wisdom!

Scott said...

Deeply agree with you. Totally appropriate and wonderful insight. I think that you nailed it with these thoughts.

I share some of the same experiences, a few of my friends have gone through gastric bypass and it did change their personalities in the same way. I hadn't stopped to think about it, but your thoughts are really right on the money. They lost their main 'coping' device for life, stress, etc..

You have the 411 on this for sure. Thanks for sharing!

Scott P
(aka Countryfunk)

Coach Barbie, PhD said...

Awesome, guys. Thank you for the words. I thought about this blog entry all day before I actually wrote it. About to bring it now!