Tuesday, November 11, 2008
If there's one thing I have learned from being a coach is knowing that it's okay to ask for help and that in many cases, having a good coach can be the determining factor of whether the person sinks or swims. Wait, that's two things I have learned. Ah, who cares, let me just go on to say what I want to say.
Goodness, when did my blog become a personal diary? But, do I care? Of course not, no.
When folks write to tell me that they could not have done it without me, I often don't believe them. I helped, but I did not make it happen is what I often say. I still know and believe that to be true. But, tonight, perhaps for the first time ever, I see that sometimes we need, yes, need that extra support, guidance, or kick in the rear end.
I'm not plugging coaching tonight, kids, I'm a little too self-involved for that at this very moment.
For the past few months I feel like I have been spinning my wheels with this book I am in the process of writing, but that doesn't seem to be getting written. I had a moment of pure frustration, followed by revelation the other day. Why, I asked, is it that I am able to provide my writer friends and students with good feedback, my coachees with good coaching, yet no one seems to offer me the kind of help that I need. Why is life so unfair, I asked.
Oh, Barbie, stop the freaking pity party, pleeeze, I finally said to myself sometime last week. What's stopping you from asking for help? Why don't you get yourself a coach? an editor? something! Why don't you seek out the help that you need. "Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for your own life." Isn't that the message I repeat over and over as a BeachBody coach?
Why had I never thought of asking for help with my writing?
My giant ego was probably clouding my brain and did not let me have the thought.
Boys and girls, I did it. In The Success Principles, Jack Canfield says that all we have to do sometimes is ask. So I did. I wrote to a leading person in my field and within two days she offered to help me with my work...at no charge. (Truly I cannot express my gratitude and feeling of good fortune.)
Um, that was easy.
Now comes the hard part. I take a deep breath and sigh. The road ahead is going to be long and arduous. I want to coach, teach, and complete a book, and I want to do them all well. The biggest challenge for me will be sitting down to put in the long hours necessary to complete this book.
I knew that if I asked for help and that if the person said yes, that I would have to hold up my end of the deal. I cannot let her or myself down. As far as I'm concerned, there is no turning back. I don't want to turn back. I'm ready to move forward.
I am terrified and excited. I don't like being a trapeze artist. I like being in control. But, wait, I am. Finally, these wheels can stop spinning.
Not once have I heard that things that are worth having come easily.