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Friday, October 30, 2009

Are You Willing to Pay the Price?

Dear Boys and Girls,

A while back, I bought a book called, Success Is Not an Accident. I remember reading a section in it in which the author warned the reader that success comes at a price and that to achieve it, we had to be willing to pay said price.

What the heck was he talking about?! I seriously didn't get it then, but, oh, I get it now.

Let's start with something simple. I wanted abs, but I wasn't willing to give up my cheat snacks and weekly margaritas to get them. I wasn't willing to pay the price. I'm finally getting abs and am down to 14.9% body fat! When I look to the side, I see these arms that I hardly recognize. But to get to that point, I have given up impromptu dinners, alcohol, cheese, chocolate, and other food things that at one point I felt I couldn't live without. To be honest, that's a tiny price to pay, at least for now. I am loving the pursuit of my best body!

I might add that I get emails from folks every day who say they want to change, yet, who are unwilling to pay the price. They are unwilling to give up their comfort foods or to get up at the butt crack of dawn to get their workouts in. They may never achieve the success they seek.

But, the focus of this post is not on fitness, well, not exactly. It's more introspective, as I think my latest blog posts have been. In my effort to be an amazing coach who showed up daily to her thread, her blog, her emails, um, I forgot to have a social life. The price I paid was, without even knowing it, not having a 3-dimensional, balanced life.

So began my new search for balance, which to me meant: working as a teacher/researcher, planting my roots in Dallas, being an awesome coach, and spending some pure down time. But I'll admit, this balance stuff has me feeling guilty, as if I'm not getting enough done, as if I'm not there enough for others, and I often feel frustrated.

Balance. Isn't it something we all want and strive for?

What I didn't realize and what I have come to learn in the past few weeks is that achieving balance means that you can't do it all, or at least, you can't do it all at full force. If I go to a friend's house for dinner one night, that means that I can't blog and answer emails that evening. If I spend some time just hanging out with Jason and the dogs, that means that something else that I deem "productive" is not getting done. What's crazy is that it's these little moments that really matter.

I keep asking myself lately, Am I willing to pay the price for success? Should I not go out to dinner so I can "do" more? I am not a machine and I know it. But, I admit, this balance thing is difficult.

I feel guilty for not blogging nightly, for taking more than 24 hours to respond to emails, for basically abandoning my thread. But, ironically, or maybe not so ironically, I am actually practicing what I preach: I am taking care of all the different parts of me, which, eventually, will allow me to help others better.

I realize something has to give. And while I may feel guilty, lately I've been feeling quite lucky that I have this problem of overabundance. Everyday, it seems, I have awesome people and awesome things coming into my life.

I guess I am redefining success and the price I am willing to pay. I hope this post makes some sense. :)

Your friend in the journey,

Barbie, PhD


Christy said...

You are so right. I have been one of those people who has not been willing to pay the price to succeed. While I might like to blame it on the fact that there's something wrong with my body, or losing weight & getting fit is too hard b/c I'm married, have 2 kids, I'm 37, go to school full time, am a freelance writer...pick an excuse! The truth is it's all b/c I haven't been willing to sacrifice & pay the price (give up the comfort foods I "should" be able to have & workout consistently.

It's crazy how I argue with myself and justify behavior that I know is counterproductive. Well, I'm ready to change that, but I also have to realize that there is no perfect--a switch hasn't gone off & I'm changed forever; I have to take it day by day.

Thanks for your's to you finding your balance! You sound like you're on the right track!

With that, I'm off to WOWY!

Anonymous said...
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Coach Barbie, PhD said...


You said it: you have to make the time. It's so easy to let life get in the way, but it will ALWAYS get in the way. You just have to create the time, put yourself first, and commit!

And yes, change is a process!!