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Saturday, July 5, 2008

Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life

When you stop blaming others for your failures and instead reflect on how you have contributed to a specific unfavorable situation, you will finally realize that you are not a victim and thus that you have the ability to change yourself and your life.

Since I began reading Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles, I've been doing this exercise of reflecting and determining my role in relationships gone sour and in situations that did not turn out the way I had hoped. Not only have I been surprised to find that I did in fact always play a role (and thus that I am not a victim), but I have been surprised to see my anger or resentment toward a person or a situation diminish greatly. How I could I have been so blind as to not see my role in these various situations, when now it appears as clear as day? But, I know, it's much easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility for the things that happen in our lives.

This discovery that I contributed to unfavorable outcomes has put me back in the driver's seat. The opportunity to learn from my mistakes has left me feeling empowered. I love this book!

Below is an excerpt from Canfield's The Success Principles. I hope you use today's blog entry as an opportunity to reflect on your behaviors and thoughts and to get back into the driver's seat.

Bring it!

Barbie, PhD


You will never become successful as long as you continue to blame someone else or something else for your lack of success. If you are going to be a winner, you have to acknowledge the truth--it is you who took the actions, thought the thoughts, created the feelings, and made the choices that got you to where you now are. It was you!

You are the one who ate the junk food.
You are the one who didn't say no!
You are the one who took the job.
You are the one who stayed in the job.
You are the one who chose to believe them.
You are the one who ignored your intuition.
You are the one who abandoned your dream.
You are the one who bought it.
You are the one who didn't take care of it.
You are the one who decided you had to do it alone.
You are the one who trusted him.
You are the one who said yes to the dogs.

In short, you have thought the thoughts, you created the feelings, you made the choice, you said the words, and that's why you are where are you now.


Stop Complaining and Take Action!


Anonymous said...

You're right, I fell off the wagon for a few days this week and blamed it on travel and a crazy work schedule, but the truth is I could have managed it better and planned accordingly. I wasn't as bad as I'm probably making it sound, but I felt guilty and that was enough for me. Yesterday and today I got back on--full force. This morning, on day 41 I decided to take measurements and I've lost 2 inches off my waist and a few inches elsewhere. I'm so proud of my beautiful 27 inch waist--it was a wonderful little surprise and a great reminder that my body is headed in the right direction.

PCramer said...

This is so powerful...

I have been in my past life a "victim" so to speak and part of my recovery was to do exactly what your blog entry addresses today. I need to get this guy's book.

Thanks for your always provoking thoughts.

Coach Barbie said...

Hey Ladies, thanks for sharing. :) Mr. Canfield should be paying me to promote his book! But, really, this is a powerful exercise. I really was so surprised to see FOR THE FIRST TIME how I have contributed to situations. Not only does it diminish my resentment/anger, but makes me understand the other person and accept the outcome so much better.

Let's keep bringing it! Barbie

p.s. You can go to his site:

Coach Barbie said...

Hey guys,

I subscribed to Jack Canfield's email mentorship messages. It's free. This was the first installment:

And now - with a heartfelt welcome from Jack Canfield and Janet
Switzer - let's get started with today's Mentorship Message...


As human beings, we often believe we don't have enough money,
romance, success or joy in our lives. But what we need to
understand is that greatness exists in all of us. It's simply
a matter of pulling that greatness out of ourselves and using
it to get us from where we are where we want to be.

While many people believe they are entitled to live a great
life, top achievers we've met over the years know they must
take 100% responsibility for achieving the lifestyle,
relationships, financial freedom and opportunities they
experience in their lives.

This isn't always easy. But one way to start taking more
responsibility is to begin responding differently to the events
that occur in your life. Remember the formula from Principle #1
of The Success Principles book?

---->>> E + R = O

Event + Response = Outcome. That's can actually
change the outcomes in your life - and get better ones - simply
by responding differently to challenges and opportunities
that occur.

Listen now as Jack walks you through how to respond differently
using the E+R=O formula. Click on this audio link now and wait
a few moments for today's audio lesson to start playing:

Windows Media:

Real Player:

Taking 100% responsibility is what successful people do.
And it's the first step YOU must take on your new Success
Principles journey.

We'll see you tomorrow with another mentorship message.

In friendship,


i believe that we bring energy and contribute to situations/life experiences we encounter.. great blog!!!

i make it a habit to self evaluate daily... i know i play a mojor role in every situation, good or bad and taking ownership only helps me grow

Coach Barbie said...

hey, guys! yes, this is a powerful exercise. I can't believe how I've gone around blaming people all this time without accepting my share of responsibility! LOVE CANFIELD!!