Saturday, July 5, 2008
When you stop blaming others for your failures and instead reflect on how you have contributed to a specific unfavorable situation, you will finally realize that you are not a victim and thus that you have the ability to change yourself and your life.
Since I began reading Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles, I've been doing this exercise of reflecting and determining my role in relationships gone sour and in situations that did not turn out the way I had hoped. Not only have I been surprised to find that I did in fact always play a role (and thus that I am not a victim), but I have been surprised to see my anger or resentment toward a person or a situation diminish greatly. How I could I have been so blind as to not see my role in these various situations, when now it appears as clear as day? But, I know, it's much easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility for the things that happen in our lives.
This discovery that I contributed to unfavorable outcomes has put me back in the driver's seat. The opportunity to learn from my mistakes has left me feeling empowered. I love this book!
Below is an excerpt from Canfield's The Success Principles. I hope you use today's blog entry as an opportunity to reflect on your behaviors and thoughts and to get back into the driver's seat.
You will never become successful as long as you continue to blame someone else or something else for your lack of success. If you are going to be a winner, you have to acknowledge the truth--it is you who took the actions, thought the thoughts, created the feelings, and made the choices that got you to where you now are. It was you!
You are the one who ate the junk food.
You are the one who didn't say no!
You are the one who took the job.
You are the one who stayed in the job.
You are the one who chose to believe them.
You are the one who ignored your intuition.
You are the one who abandoned your dream.
You are the one who bought it.
You are the one who didn't take care of it.
You are the one who decided you had to do it alone.
You are the one who trusted him.
You are the one who said yes to the dogs.
In short, you have thought the thoughts, you created the feelings, you made the choice, you said the words, and that's why you are where are you now.
Stop Complaining and Take Action!