Saturday, October 18, 2008
Today as I was walking over to the Farmer's Market in Dallas to buy some incense, I stopped by The Petropolitan, my dogs' favorite pet shop. I had forgotten that the shop was having a halloween costume party for the pups and, um, treats and beverages for the humans. The place was jam packed, but when I when I looked over at the giant red velvet cake, everything around me disappeared.
I'm not gonna lie: the "Should I or Shouldn't I?" heart-to-heart talk lasted all about a second. With barely a moment's hesitation, I cut myself a moderately-sized slice, and retreated to the corner of the room where I would be uninterrupted. Honestly and truly, boys and girls, for about five minutes I had an out of body experience. Well, no, actually, for about five minutes, I was truly in my body, only I was in heaven.
Was it worth it? Yes! Yes! Absolutely! It was worth every ounce of sugar and fat. I also realized something that I think will help me once again take my fitness to another level:
That delight, that joy, that pleasure...that is what a cheat meal ought to feel like. I should eat my cheat meal or treat because I truly want to enjoy the food in question. Over the past few months I've been realizing that I often have a cheat meal, not because I am craving anything in particular, but simply because I have told myself that I can have one. The end result is that I often wind up splurging on greasy food, feeling heart-burned, just because I was going into it with a "must use this ticket" mentality.
Change is definitely a process. For a year since I started my BeachBody journey, I would have a cheat day vs a cheat meal. I realized that the feast or famine mentality was, um, I'm searching for a word, um, plain stupid. Eating clean is something I enjoy, so why gorge myself like a stuffed koala bear once a week? Having an all day cheat day implied that I was somehow depriving myself during the week, which I wasn't. So, with the help of my friends (Raidah and Troy!), I let it go.
I think it's time to let go once again of my "mandatory" cheat meal. I would like to enjoy certain foods because I truly desire them, not because they simply exist. I know it might be difficult to retrain my brain, but I've been there before, I can do it again.
...So help me G*d!