My Updated Transformation: A 2-Year Journey

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Dear Boys and Girls,

Twelve days after my last blog post, I am coming back, perhaps not completely recharged, but definitely with a different mindset.

This girl is ready for balance. The funny thing is I hadn't realized that I had lost it. Life is funny like that sometimes, isn't it?

To me, blogging, posting on the message boards, facebooking, answering my customers' emails is PLAY. I truly enjoy it; if I didn't, I wouldn't do it. Period. Trust me, I am not driven by money. If I were, I wouldn't have put myself thru 10 years of graduate school to become an educator. When it comes to both teaching and coaching, I have a sense of responsibility to the community and to myself. I LIKE being someone that others can count on.

But somewhere between working full time as a professor/researcher (which I love) and spending a good 2-3 hours a day on coaching, I think I must have told myself that I didn't need PURE PLAY and DOWN TIME.

As ironic as this may sound, I think I forgot about me along the way.

All of a sudden, I felt burned out, isolated, and maybe a little disappointed with myself. I'm the first one to tell others, "You have to put yourself first." I have definitely done that with my health and fitness. But, humans need face-to-face social interaction. Why did I think I was any different?

Barbie, you are not a snowflake, honey.

To every problem there's a solution. Sink or swim, right? Well, this girl is most definitely a swimmer.

I could say, well, this is the price I have to pay for success. I could tell myself: To be a successful researcher and coach, I must give up all social time in Dallas and just wait til I see my loved ones during my travel times.

Excuse me, but, F*ck that!

So: What's the solution?

Well, I realized (I'm smiling) that first, change is a process, and second, that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Since my last blog post, I have started to develop friendships that were always there, as potential, but that I was "too busy" to nurture. I can't tell you how blessed (and I never use that word) I feel to have met BeachBody friends Carl and Heather Mason. I am really looking forward to further nurturing my new and existing relationships in Dallas. I am excited about my future.

As far as the need to stop working like a horse as to allow myself some down time, I know that that will be a process. Maybe I can blog every other day and post on the message boards every other day. I know I need to go back to setting office hours for answering emails. And maybe I can promise to get back to folks within 48 hours instead of 24. Maybe I can take 2 days off a week from coaching and research activities so I can focus solely on me.

You see, just like with our diet and exercise program, there are no fool-proof formulas. We have to be willing to try things out, tweak this or that a bit, and most of all, we have to be kind to ourselves and have patience. When the going gets tough, don't quit, tweak!

I realize I cannot do it all. I am a HUMAN BEING not a HUMAN DOING, after all. That is a good thing.

Truth be told, I feel slightly uncomfortable showing my vulnerability. But, I know that so many of my blog readers and folks in the BeachBody community also struggle with creating balance and putting yourselves first.

So, I'm back, a new and improved and imperfect Barbie. Today I'm off to California for a BeachBody Coach Event (The Game Plan). I'm excited to see Jason and all my friends and what BeachBody has in store for us. After that, it's back to Dallas and back to creating and finding balance.

Your friend in the ups and downs of this most awesome journey,
Barbie, PhD

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Once again you prove that you are the best kind of coach. Ok, you haven't heard from me in a long time, but know are an inspiration even when you are in the tweaking process...even when you are questioning..because you are still trying your best in whatever space you are in...and that inspires me (and so many others no doubt)to continue to try, for the umpteenth time, to decide, commit, succeed and to be ok with being honest about our own imperfections... You are a beacon for so many, I know I am not alone in feeling that way. Naomi