Dear Boys and Girls,
On Wednesday evening, I headed to The Gap and Banana Republic after deciding that I didn't want to face another day of comments regarding my "weight loss." (I'm 123 right now. I was 125-7 in December.) The truth is, I was indeed swimming, maybe drowning, in my size 6 work clothes on Tuesday. Somewhere in the land of too much extra fabric, I misplaced, yes, some of my self-confidence.
I really did almost die, sorta, when the size 0 jeans at the Gap fit, but were loose at the waist. I mean, for real? I even asked the salesperson, "Could I really be a zero?" She looked at me kind of strange, like duhhh, and replied, "Yea, you're pretty tiny."
Me? A zero? You'd think I was elated. I wasn't. I was more in shock than anything else. I never ever thought I'd be "that" girl.
At Banana Republic I felt relieved, yes, how strange, to discover that I was a 2. Ahh. I'm not as tiny as I thought.
So: I bought about six pairs of pants that fit. How wonderfully indescribable to show up to work the next day in clothes that actually fit. I was no longer lost in fabric. Instead, you could see, I could see and feel, the fit and confident person in me. I never thought that wearing clothes that fit would make should a difference. They can. I had often heard people complain on the message boards about having to buy smaller clothes, to which most of us would respond, "Girl, what are you complaining about?!" I think part of me thought that in those complaints was also a little bit of gloating, which is okay, too. Who wouldn't gloat about losing 3 dress sizes?! Well, now I understand. Buying a new wardrobe is expensive and perhaps more important, swimming in your clothes is physically and mentally uncomfortable.
Here I am at Tony Horton's Fitness Camp in Arizona. The first words out of Tony's mouth when he saw me yesterday was an almost surprised, "You're so fit." (He had last seen me in Hawaii in November.) I smiled on the inside. We shouldn't look to be validated by other people, but it felt good, I confess, to hear it from the man causing a fitness revolution in so many of our lives.
Yes. Yes, I am so fit.
The past few weeks have been interesting. I have been working towards my best body for more than two years now. All of a sudden, it seems, I have arrived to a state of super fitness and people all around me, even strangers, seem to take notice.
It's almost time for our first workout session with Tony Horton, so I have to go get ready. What a journey it has been and continues to be.
Thank you for sharing this with me.